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date: Saturday, April 11, 2009 time : 12:55 PM I super buay siong... Almost everyday, I buay siong with him. He's just not up to my standard. To me, sometimes i just feel he's an unworthy partner. And maybe to him, I 'm a woman just not that perfect as a wife and a lazy woman, who stick to com and leaving the kids aside (??) Ha! Ha! What a big thing to laugh at when he said that. How true? Only I know and my maid know. 我對的起天地良心就可以了。 I only use the com, surfing net when I pumping milk, to kill the long pumping session. If not, will be when there's someone (like him...but is being forced to, cause Amabel glued him instead of me) taking care the kids. and that's alway less than 10mins then I will attend to them. Is it mean that I become a mom already, I don't have the authority to surf net already?? WTF right And for the past few days or when he's not at home at night; I'm alway the one taking care the two kids alone, never have the time to sit down and relax, especially I'm putting so much effort to train Amabel to adapt a good sleeping habit. I didn't even on the laptop. So who saw that! no one except the maid. and this idiot must be assuming that I only care on surfing net or blogging at home. WTF again I only get to pump milk after both my kids asleep, hence surfing net. Sometimes, I do surf till quite late but the kids are asleep throughout the night. So what's wrong with me surfing net right? I also need to have some own time right. Even though, I still wake up early in the morning so I can help to take care the kids for the maid. I never complains to him that I don't get enough of sleep, yet still need to take care the kids right I don't get to nap in the noon during weekend (but he can), cause I don't want the maid to overload with work yet with the responsibility to take care the 2 kids. Instead, he is the one kept complaining that he slept late (cause surfing net, watching TV) and being woken up by Amabel early in the morning. He should know that every morning , Amabel sure will disturb and wake him up. And yet he still want to sleep so late. Too bad ... He's just so unlucky cause Amabel cling to him. I know it's not easy for him, but... it's not easy for me either. If not because Amabel cling to him, I garanttee he will whole day surf net and relax one. But still, he often get to nap in the noon, leaving the kids under me and my maid's care. And he can happily surf net for quite long (at least longer than me), when Amabel is playing on her own and Aisleyne is under my care. So why he want to point his finger at me. Before you point your finger at me, please look at yourself, your the other fingers are pointing to yourself. I know he loves me and should know my character very well. He knows I don't like ppls to said me this and that yet he always like to purposely pick on me before looking at himself. Hence, I also want to pick on him too. If he keeps his mouth shut, I will be very happy. And I will treat him better. More worth to. Anyway he is just not supportive on the effort I put in and all the thing I do. To him it is just not necessary. Whatever! I'm simply tired of his nonsense. like I'm not tiring and busy enough. Back from work, I got to take care Aisleyne, clean her up, breastfeed her, pump milk, sometimes still need to bath for Amabel (when he refused to help), prepare milk for Amabel & brush her teeth and make sure she sleep early. Putting Aisleyne to sleep. And all this I have to BAO KA LIAO when he is working night or happily enjoying outside; pa billard, kick soccer, watch movie. He must feel blessed that I never leave my two kids at home with him, if I got program with my buddies. I alway bring both or either one of them. I know he can never handle this two hyperactive kids. Unless he get the maid to help, like that the maid can't do housework at all. Sometimes the maid to handle two thing at a time which is very dangerous. So I don't like at all. cause he's always complaining. And till now he still can't accept that I actually bring both the kids out alone shopping without anyone and pram. He keeps telling everyone that I sure cannot handle my two mischevious kids alone. But the reality is that, I DID IT without any problem, be it at home or outside. though is very tiring, but I managed it well I really hate myself cause I don't have the energy to even stand up for myself anymore. Cause no point argue back. 死的,他都可以講成活的。 so let him win lor. I'm just so tired of defending for myself when the finger is keep pointing at me with all sort of stupid thing. If I do, sure alot of things gonna happened again. I'm very good at creating all sort of hoola... that turn the world upside down for me. That everyone will start ke 頭. Don't wish to make my close one worry for me anymore. Don't wish to run away from home again. Cause now I got two kids, he sure cannot handle one. Don't want my precious ones to suffer. No time to reply comments and tags liao. Very tired, got to sleep now. Will reply soon. Goodnight everyone here! Labels: Problems, Relationship, Roles of a Father, Roles of a Husband, Words for you 3 Comments:
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3 Comment(s):
hi.. i juz came accross ur blog.. u r a gd mother actualli. i do face the same problem as u but u r much more lucky becos at least u stil have a maid whereby i onli alone takin care of 2 boys n all the housework... look at the bright side, ignore all the words tat affect u... do wat is rite...
Hi Ya me too face the same problem as you bt me too dun have a maid.
Come on we got to be strong dun let the words turn us down.
Anonymous,
having a maid can be good but can be very bad also. Mentally stress; whether maid can take good care of the kids , this and that. This is worst than physically tiring. Not as good as you think. But no choice I got to work.