Sometime I really hate myself…

Why I so emotion?
Why I being so stubborn?
Why I a little bit also cannot?
Why I being so strict to you?
Why I couldn’t control my temper and scolded you? … When you are just a little kid being mischievous
Why I couldn’t get myself to wake up immediately when you crying from nightmare? A few times I actually just continue lying on bed and let you continue crying for a while by just patting to sooth you, hoping you will stop crying and back to sleep. Sometime you stop but yesterday you didn’t, you cried until real loud then I woke up to carry you, that is only then you slowly stopped and back to sleep. Actually I feel very bad about it, cause it must be you really need me then you cried for us but none of us wake up to carry you. I keep saying sorry to you including this morning.

But ever since I am pregnant, now being the 27 weeks
Amabel’s temper getting worst than before,
she likes throwing tantrum, abit also cannot...
Refusing to said “sorry”…
Refusing to accept punishment if she did something wrong.
Husband said her character and attitude really like me.
When we go out, If we left her walk alone behind us... she gets angry, idle and stand at there, give a moody face, head down, eyes sadly look at us. If we just ask her to catch up with us, she refused. Insist waiting us to go forward to her, holding her hand to walk. At time, we didn't, she start to cry and scream until we go forward to carry her and comfort her. Really like to 发大小姐脾气.
And she has been sleeping late once again. She is hyper-energetic and likes us to play with her and won’t want me to switch off the room light. I told her is her sleeping bed now but she refused and kept crying and screaming, pointing to the light switch, requesting me to ON it. If there is someone outside the room not yet sleep- she saw the light outside; she will cry… pointing to the door and said, “OPEN…open”. I always refused by distracting her.
Even if I managed to switch off the light and get her to bed, she will keep peering into my eyes in the dark to make sure I sleep before she will sleep. She seems to be very tired, tossing about on the bed, with her blanket rubbing her eyes. But once she saw me getting up from my bed, she will suddenly turn very awake, following me. I know if husband and me not getting into bed and sleep, she will sure wanna play and be awake. But me couldn’t get to sleep so early like 9pm or 10pm, cause by the time I feed her milk, clean her and change her into pajamas, brushing her teeth, reading her books is already 9plus – Time to put her to sleep and I not yet got the time to bath. So how am I going to sleep with her? Even if I get to bathe slightly earlier, I also need to wait for my hair to dry and it take an hour. I don’t use hair dryer cause I no time to blow dry my super long hair cause I need to prepare Amabel to sleep.

This girl likes to drink water just like me; which is a good thing. Recently, in the middle of the night she will wake up looking for her water bottle. Sometime she will wake me up, pass me her water bottle to open the cover for her to drink. If not, after drinking she will wake me up to ask me put back the water bottle for her. Wondering she is lazy or purposely want to wake me up. Lol~ and then continue back to sleep again. There is once she couldn’t find the water bottle, which I always put it on our bedside table, which is just behind her mattress (I forgot and left it on the table in the living room). She actually went out to the living room to look for it. Luckily I notice her walking out of the room, so I faster follow, she looking around the living room, I faster carry her and asked “What you want?” She replied: “Water”. Yah I left it in the living room so I bring it to her.

Amabel...there is something that really Sweet about you!

I love seeing you sleep, you look so innocent not the usual mischievous girl anymore, I always couldn’t control but to start planting kisses all over your face and body and smelling you all over including your stinky diaper. Lol~
Most of the time, I will want you to sleep in our bed so I can snuggle close to you. You like to do that also… but after awhile you will find it uncomfortable to toss about in between us in our Queen size bed, you choose to crawl back to your own bed.

A few times, you woke up, still laze on the bed with eyes opened; you mumble out all names you know “Daddy, Mi Mi, Ah Ping, Ah Hong, Tong tong, 爷爷 etc. I looked at you surprisingly and you give me a shy smile.

When we are in the lift with someone, you will keep looking at them, trying to make friend with them and when leaving you will wave and said 'byebye' to the person(s) in a very sweet tone with flying kisses. But this is only happened when you are in a good mood and not too concentrate in your own thing.

You love waiting outside the toilet door, banging on it when I am showering, keeps calling "mimi....mimi" all the time. So nowadays I don’t close door so you can lookout for me whenever you want. You love seeing me showering and giving me a very infectious smile and trying to play with me outside the shower screen. It came with a lot of laughing.

Whenever I sing the Barney song “I Love you, you love me, we are happy family…” You will follow me sing and tighten your arms and legs around me in a very warm Koala hug and give me a lovely kiss.
Sometime you really do something very sweet, you will said “I…. Love…. YOU!!” with your index finger of both hands pointing to the person, face bringing along a big smile.
That day you suddenly came over to give me a very warm hug, you rest on my arm for a while and kisses me.
Once, you looked at me innocently and resting your forehead on my forehead, we look at each other eye to eye. It just bring smile to my face, it melts my heart, and I really like that kind of feeling. I feel that you do love me a lot though I have been strict on you.

Sometime you will just out of sudden keep smiling sillies. Such a happy girl. You like to look at the mirror, smile and talk to yourself who is in the mirror and laughing. Look silly but so cute.

Seeing that always make me feel so blessing despite how you always drained me out.

Same old word….”Never ever regret before!”

The happy moment 19 May 08, Suntec City










My happy and cheerful baobei on 19 may 08, Her Grand-greatma house


When she saw the person she scare of giving her a fury face, she automatic punished herself by quietly sitting at a side, crossing her legs, fold her arms and finger on her lip. No sound from her after that.
So kelian yet so cute. She makes everyone laugh by showing her innocent yet so cute and sweet expression.

Labels: Amabel's behaviour, Amabel's character, Words for you