Feeling sad and bad once again.
Really feel like giving myself a tight slap

What had happened to me?

I don't know what I am doing and thinking.

Why I this few days keeps having this thought?
Aisleyne chose the wrong time to come to this world,

both of them couldn't have my full attetion
Amabel always kana scolding by me.
Aisleyne always have to tolerate her sister screams and cries and my yelling at her sister
Nowaday Amabel so scare of me when I get really angry
sort of well behave abit after I got really angry
My maid also get frighten by me
and I told her Amabel is my child so I got the right to discipline her if she misbehave. If Amabel naughty or what she can't raise a hand on her or scold her. Let me know and I will discipline myself.
Think even the ppls in the public also feel so.
Cause I can be super crazy when I am mad.
Even myself get frightened by myself .
Always feel regret after that.
This is so unhealthy.
When I see Aisleyne I feel so sorry to her, making me wanna cry again
When I see Amabel especially when she sleeps; she looks so innocent, not the usual mischevious girl, and her smile that brightened my day, then I feel so sorry to her for getting my scolding and punishments.
I hate this kind of feeling and i hate this thought keeps flashing in my mind, and make me cry again.
Sometime Amabel really make me dislike her alot especially her character,
Hubby always said her character just like me.
But when I look at her again and those photos that we took, her mischevious yet so cute look,
she really melts my heart.
Not forgetting Aisleyne who alway brightened my day with her super blur look, making me feeling better after her sister making me angry.
Now I keep telling myself not to have that thought again.
Cause I love them
and couldn't live without them, they are just like the air i breathe
So no matter what must be patience and tolerate
Though life was good before their arrival but now life is priceless
I know it is just a temporary phase kid have to go through.
Hope we can sailing through this most difficult period.







Got to wash bottles now and catch some sleep before Aisleyne wake up for milk.

Hope morning wake up, will be a better day for us.

Labels: My Gallery, Words for you