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 .jpg)  Our Lil Princess: Amabel Loh Birthday: 21 August 2006 Place of Birth: Thomson Medical Centre, Singapore Delivery Method: Natural Delivery without Epidural Borned in Gestation age: 38weeks 3days Weight at Birth: 3.005kg Length at Birth: 47cm Breastfeed: 14 months  Our 2nd Lil Princess: Aisleyne Loh Birthday: 15 August 2008 Place of Birth: Thomson Medical Centre, Singapore Delivery Method: Natural Delivery without Epidural Borned in Gestation age: 39weeks 2days Weight at Birth: 3.010kg Length at Birth: 48cm Breastfeed: 3 years+  |
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title: Mini Kitchen from Aisleyne
date: Monday, June 02, 2008 time : 12:07 AM really feel like giving up and leave… Hate is always more than love. Pregnant! gotten a lot of privileges, support, concern, care and give in from others but not him Forget it, don’t want to talk and think about it anymore. How I wish I wouldn’t have to see him and hear his voice again. Thinking of going down to Ikea to get the ‘infant changing table’ tomorrow. No one to help me to carry it home, so I got to opt for chargeable delivery and assemble of the table. Need to pay much more for that, no choice. I want mean WANT. Thanks sister for getting someone to help, but forget it. Amabel always agitated me with her temper tantrum but she is always the one who make me feel better and happy when I am down. She never fails to bring smile back to my face. 30 May 08 @ Vivo City's Toy R us  Amabel saw a kids kitchen display. She likes it very much. We bought another design with much more activities  and I want to give it as a gift to her when she came hospital to visit us when I deliver. Will told her it's a gift from her meimei to her. But hubby insisted to let her play once we reach home. Faint! Think I got to crack my head to think of another gift. But we still told her is her meimei in Mommy's womb buying for her. Not sure whether she understand but when hubby told her that and want her to sayang and kiss my tummy to thank for the gift. She did it. She started to play with the kitchen parts once hubby open it to clean and assemble  Hubby asked her not to disturb, so she just stand there and watch her Daddy do it.  But just a few secs, she started touching here and there again. I asked her to sit on the sofa to wait for Daddy to done with it so she can play soon. Then she quitely sit there to see him do it   Then started playing with the bag of stuff I purchased and said "Mimi's bag"  Couldn't stop talking Know what she said??? . . 'I. I. I love youuu...' That lasted not long, hubby not done with it yet, she started to play with it and keep jumping happily seeing it going to be complete soon. ->   Finally completed... she so concentrated on it. As if she is really a cheft   See how well she can hold the knife. hahaha    Some cute and funny videos I captured when she is playing with it. We couldn't stop laughing. (Please turn off the blog music to hear what she said in the videos) Video of her putting fork, ctter and spoon on each plate. Captured part of it only. Video of her washing the knife and cut veggies... think we must be careful when doing thing infront of her, kids really pick up thing when they seeing us doing it. Amabel must has learnt from me and maid when we are cooking for her Video of her adding sauce into her cooking There are alot of funny scenes which my camera not enough memory to capture it. Like she asking us to go to her kitchen washing basin to wash our hands She cooks for us and serve us with the food etc... Lol~ When hubby told her that is sleeping bed... suddenly she... Still we managed to ask her to enter her bedroom to sleep Next day once she woke up, she ...  31 May 08, we went for my gynae visit - will update on Aisleyne status in next post. Headed to Far East Plaza, Mommy gotten herself 2 shoes, legging, tube and earring. feel happy Amabel just woke up from sleep when we reach home.  Cam-whoring before setting off to Compasspoint for dinner then Meiqi's house     In the car   The two marks caused by prolong wearing of glasses, is troubling me. How to get rid of it?? Just three of us... driving still can put his hands to the back seat... So dangerous!  Not enough sleep for today, sleep at 5.30am and woke up at 10am to bath for Amabel. At noon, went to cold storage to stock up Amabel's food. My dinner...  Cheese prata, plain prata and Yong Tou Fu. Yummy.. Eating make me feel happy Evening time, bring Amabel downstair for a walk. Try out the new pouch I ordered for awhile before I let Amabel start running... really very comfortable and nice as compare to the old one I have. Easy to use too, the old one; I alway have difficulties using it.  She throwing temper again, when I bring her home. I feeling so tired... backache and muscle ache carrying her. She hit my tummy real hard when she's struggling. Making me worry... Luckily I still feel ok now. Yesterday night before sleep, I keep thinking... am I a bad mommy to Aisleyne? I never take much care of myself, I shouldn't keep carrying her sis since she always hit on my tummy when throwing temper and struggling. I shall talk more to her. Hai... feeling so bad again. Just now Amabel cried for milk, just half an hour after her dinner; 2 bowl of jap rice with veggies and soup. She has huge appetite just like her mom. She pulls my hand to open the bedroom’s door, keep saying “Mimi… milk milk…milk milk”. I asked her to wait for awhile since she just had her dinner. She starts throwing temper and keeps saying “milk milk”. No choice but to bring her to kitchen, she thought I wouldn’t want to make her the milk. So she pesters the maid for milk. We told her I ‘m preparing the milk for her then she pushed away the maid and said “You go!” - asking her to go away since mommy is preparing for her. Lol~ Maid asked her to stand one side to wait for mommy to prepare the milk. She replied “No! I said NO” haha~ she really knows to express by words. Feeling hungry now... going to eat some bread and sleep. Tomorrow have to work... Sian! Labels: playtime, Pregnancy, Toys 13 Comments:
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13 Comment(s):
To share this quote
If it wasn’t loneliness, you may not have discovered a deeper sense of calmness from within your inner self.
If it wasn’t detachment from the encumbrance of relationships, you may not realised true freedom.
Pain from separation, pain from not being able to let go, all can be put at ease by the mere switch of a thought.
May all beings be free and at peace
I saw this poem online and it kindda put all I feel recently about a PEOPLE who doesn't trust, who is prolly cynical about others coz it is true there are few good ppl ard, yet, she has a very good heart, very smart.she might be just keeping me away coz I give her my most frank comments(though in the most subtle and diplomatic manner), but they are actually out of good intention. Is being too friendly a bad thing?
This is prolly wat I wanna tell her right from the bottom of my heart which feels heavy.
This reminds me of the meaning of "opening the door to my heart"
Lighting Your Way-
If I was one thing, I'd be a candleL
Lighting the way so you can handle.
Your life easier without woes.
Not having to fight with your foes.
I'd help keep you from stumbling over,
Things blocking your path to an open door.
If I light your path, life is easier,
Even strong winds, my light will not deter.
No matter what, I'm here for you,
To cheer you up when you are blue.
Do not fret when times get tough,
If things look down or kind of rough.
Just remember, I'm always here,
In your heart, close and near.
I will help you out in every way,
Happiness and love in your heart will stay.
Don't blow me out, that's one request
Unless it's me you do detest.
I do not try to hurt anyone
That isn't good or any fun.
But one day you may leave me behind
You may no longer need my light to shine.
If that day comes, go on your way
And I will hope to see you again one day.
If one day, I don't appear,
Do not worry, do not fear
I may be gone, but in your heart
The light I gave you did not depart.
It will be there forever and a day
To always bring happiness and light your way.
Farewell for now, I'm needed elsewhere
If your path grows dark, in your heart, I'm there.
So I'm really not gone, just not seen,I would not leave, I'm not that mean.
Only one simple request that I must say,
Please, never forget those who lit your way.
I have always have the feels is that when one has misunderstand or angry with me...let him/she be...as long you know what you are for, then dont bother about it....you know that someone has misunderstand you, you just carry on showing concerns to them and do not bear gurdges or violence will grows violence.....
if yor are always bother of the misunderstanding then you are suffering and not the others...
Remember it and try to let go.....show concerns...we answer to our heart and not the others
Life is like that...suffering but still have to walk along...when one walked with good understanding the life is not that suffer anymore...of cos say is easy but do it may not be difficult...try it slowly and it will be done and successful....
First of all, today I highlight this matter because for me and my family, I really feel very sad and disappointed with all the bad comments about me as a FATHER from the first day this blog start. Sometime when I read thru the blog all the comments hurt me but I just keep quiet and no point debate or argue on all those subjects. Life need to be carrying on and move .Sorry seems to be the hardest word from her mouth, but is the person really realise his or her mistake and see the mistake by himself/herself, willing to make the effort to change. good to say sorry to someone which shows that you are aware that you are wrong, even if you are not wrong and to cushion off some suiting, by saying sorry is the best medicine to it,being sorry does not make one a fool but i see that it makes one a better person, cos he/she knows his fault and willing to give in....that should be a better person action.I personally think you something say or write anything never filter out and don’t think of the consequences,I don’t know she mean it anot but i know a Blog is a place to rant and for some ,release frustration and unhappiness.
“”really feel like give up and leave…
Hate is always more than love.
Forget it, don’t want to talk and think about it anymore
How I wish I wouldn’t have to see him and heard his voice again””
Sometime i cant figure out why you are so perfect and I am so BAD. One way or another, we don’t live alone in this world and that’s the fact. One way or another, we need each other support circuitously. Always put yourself in my shoe,you are mother of 2 kids soon yet your thinking is not mature. You just living inside your own world .Whatever you say is always RIGHT and everyone have to listen to you including your parents. I have no inkling of any idea what your mind is thinking. What I have contribute my role as a father that you think still no perfect or good than I cant help much. You are a growing adults, i dont think so you need ppl to guide or spoon feed you along your path of your life.Hope things can change and a better tomorrow
Just to share for those who read this blog..
Sorry isn't a difficult word to spell out from our mouth whenever we are in the wrong, provided we trained ourselves with the following 8 verses of mind training to subdue our Ego as follows:
As we practice these lojong teachings in daily life, we train the mind to embrace reality in a completely wholesome, wise, and compassionate way. These excellent practices help us purify our negativity and awaken the heart by giving us a way to transform adversity and hardship into a direct opportunity for spiritual growth. In this way, rather than perceiving difficult people or adverse circumstances in our lives as an obstacle, tragedy, or punishment, we now meet these experiences with deep compassion, wisdom, and skill, using them as the actual path to enlightenment.
By way of these treasured practices we eliminate our competitive, selfish, and reactive nature, as well as our false and exaggerated concepts of self (also called self-grasping and self-cherishing). It is important to understand that the greed, jealousy, anger, pride, selfishness, and attachment, which cause us so much suffering, are actually misperceptions of reality, not inherent conditions of our mind. Therefore, these precious lojong practices can purify our misperceptions and delusions completely, revealing the natural radiance, clarity, wisdom, and compassion of our true nature.
With the heartfelt desire and determination to attain enlightenment
For the welfare of all living beings, who are more precious than a
Wish-fulfilling jewel for accomplishing the supreme goal,
May I always cherish them and hold them dear.
Verse I - Cherishing and caring for others is the source of all happiness. Cherishing ourselves over others is the source of all suffering and negative conditions in this world. Therefore, our determination to attain enlightenment should always be motivated by our heartfelt desire to serve the welfare of all living beings. The attainment of enlightenment is the supreme goal. Our enlightenment comes from the cultivation of bodhichitta (the awakening mind of love, compassion, and wisdom). Bodhichitta arises from our deepest compassion. To develop this compassion and reach the supreme goal, we need others. In this way, all living beings are the principle source for our spiritual development and for accomplishing the supreme goal of enlightenment. In addition, at some time each of us has been, and will be, a source of great kindness and benefit for one another. The immense kindness of all living beings is integral to our own human existence. Considering this, we can understand how living beings are even more precious than a wish-fulfilling jewel and that we should always cherish them and hold them dear.
Whenever I am with others
May I think of myself as the lowest of all
And from the very depths of my heart
May I respectfully hold others as supreme.
Verse 2 - This verse calls us to train the mind in proper humility, eliminating our habitual arrogance and pride by 'thinking of ourselves as the lowest of all.' This is certainly not suggesting we belittle ourselves; we should have self-esteem and self-confidence. Rather, a practice is being offered for taming our exaggerated sense of self-importance and for cultivating true humility and respect for others. The afflictions of arrogance, superiority, pride, and competitiveness create disharmony among people and prevent us from learning and evolving. Therefore, by respectfully holding others as supreme, we become more humble, gentle, and open. This naturally brings harmony and compassion into our relationships and helps us to achieve great qualities, virtues, and spiritual realizations.
In all actions, may I closely examine my state of mind,
And the moment a disturbing emotion or negative attitude arises,
Since this may cause harm to myself and others,
May I firmly face and avert it.
Verse 3 - This verse calls for the sincere practice of mindfulness, closely examining our state of mind throughout all our actions. Through this practice of mindfulness, the teachings encourage us to firmly face and avert any disturbing emotions or negative attitudes the very moment they arise. The reason for this is that our delusions, disturbing emotions, and negative attitudes can provoke us to think, speak, or act in nonvirtuous ways which may cause harm to ourselves and others. This behavior brings karmic consequences and perpetuates our delusion and suffering. Therefore, throughout the day, while working, driving, walking, studying, talking with others, and so forth, we should closely examine our state of mind and heart. By training our mind in this skillful way, we will be able to firmly face and avert disturbing emotions and negative attitudes as they arise and before they develop any further momentum or power.
Whenever I meet people of unpleasant character
Or those overwhelmed by negativity, pain or suffering,
May I cherish and care for them as if I had found
A rare and precious treasure difficult to find.
Verse 4 - When we encounter unpleasant people, or those overwhelmed by negativity, pain, or suffering, we often prefer to ignore or avoid them rather than cherish and care for them. We may consider ourselves to be more important or more evolved than such beings, and we usually turn from them, as we do not want to be bothered, hurt, or contaminated by their condition. This verse suggests reversing our usual self-cherishing attitude by learning to cherish and care for such people, being joyful and grateful as if we had found a rare and precious treasure. To overcome the delusion and egoism of our self-cherishing, we view this encounter as an opportunity to serve and bring happiness to others, rather than a nuisance to be avoided. In this way, our self-cherishing mind diminishes and our compassion deepens so as to embrace all living beings without exception.
Whenever others, because of their jealousy, treat me badly
With abuse, insult, slander, or in other unjust ways,
May I accept this defeat myself
And offer the victory to others.
Verse 5 - Learning to accept loss and defeat for ourselves and offering gain and victory to others is the very foundation of the bodhisattva practice. Although it may appear, at the worldly level, that we suffer loss by way of this practice, ultimately the practitioner receives the greatest benefits of spiritual wealth and virtue. In learning to accept harsh or unjust treatment, we should not allow ourselves to react with anger, behave in the same nonvirtuous ways in return, or to abandon others because of their actions toward us. This is the essence of accepting defeat and offering the victory, and the accomplishment of supreme patience and kindness. By accepting defeat and offering the victory to others, with the pure motivation of heartfelt compassion, we destroy the ignorance of our self-cherishing at its very roots.
When someone whom I have benefited
Or in whom I have placed great trust and hope,
Harms me or treats me in hurtful ways without reason,
May I see that person as my precious teacher.
Verse 6 - When we are kind to people, helping them, giving them our trust and hope, we naturally expect to be treated kindly in return. When people repay our kindness and trust by harming us or treating us in hurtful ways, we often react with anger, hurt, or disappointment. After such an experience, we may find it difficult to give them our love and respect. This type of ordinary love is conditional and impure. As practitioners, we want to embrace a situation such as this with skillful wisdom, compassion, and unconditional love. Therefore, it is essential that we have a way to transform these difficult experiences into the actual path to enlightenment. To accomplish this, we learn to see a person who harms us or treats us in hurtful ways, as our precious teacher. This person becomes our precious teacher because of the priceless dharma lessons we receive. Through their kindness, we also receive the ripening and purification of our own negative karma, which is the inevitable result of our having done a similar thing to someone in the past. In this way, we can see how even our worst enemies can be our greatest benefactors and precious teachers.
In brief, may I offer both directly and indirectly all help,
Happiness and benefit to all beings, my mothers,
And may I secretly take upon myself
All of their harmful actions, pain and suffering.
Verse 7 - This verse refers to the essence of Tong-len practice (Giving and Taking). We are to offer, directly and indirectly, our help, happiness, benefit, skills, and resources in loving service to all beings who certainly, at some time in the past, have been our own mothers. In Tong-Ien practice, with strong compassion, we visualize taking on the obstacles, problems, illnesses, and suffering of others. We then visualize giving them all of our happiness, comfort, love, virtue, prosperity, and great insights. In this verse the word 'secretly' suggests this particular practice of compassion may not be suitable or may be too difficult for beginning practitioners. It also means that this practice should be done discreetly, and not openly displayed or spoken about so as to gain praise or recognition.
May I keep all of these practices undefiled by stains of the eight worldly
Cconcerns (gain/loss, pleasure/pain, praise/blame, fame/dishonor),
And by recognizing the emptiness and illusory nature of all existing things,
May I be liberated from the bondage of attachment and mistaken views of reality.
Verse 8 - It is essential that our spiritual practice not be defiled or stained by the eight worldly concerns. For example, engaging in these practices hoping to be recognized or praised as an excellent dharma practitioner is not the right motivation. Nor should we practice with expectations of gaining something special or pleasurable for ourselves. Our motivation for practice must not become polluted or obscured by worldly concerns and attachment. The right motivation is to act exclusively and compassionately for the benefit of other beings. Our mind training practice must also be unified with our direct perception of ultimate truth—emptiness. As we gain realization of ultimate truth, we understand the empty, illusory, and impermanent nature of all existing things. With this realization, grasping or clinging to external appearances, or being deceived by them, diminishes, and we gain liberation from the bondage of attachment and mistaken views of reality.
The summery key words of the above is to see ourselves lower than others and place all dominating characters upon our crown like a precious jewel that perfect our cultivation on the path and recognise the complexity karmic links of all mother sentient beings.
my point of view is..
ur wife is pregnant & she needs alot of support.
still having to tk cr of Amabel when she is tired aft working, & having another lil' one in her tummy, she need help.
be it mentally & physically.
& if u say u're tired aft working too.
yes, i m sure u are.
but what abt ur wife?
she will be even more tired.
so,
I hope u can try to help her.
no one is saying u r bad.
I just think u r not being supportive enough.
hey pretty mom,
I am willing to help you carry the ikea funiture, just ring me if you need my help. Take care!
Royce.
Amabel is sooo CUTE!!!
The videos made me laugh
To maggie
I dont fully agree with your point
"I just think u r not being supportive enough"
How long you know her,so by reading her blog for less than a year you can understand her character just by all the topics discuss in the blog.I can only surmise you still dont understand her well.I dont think i have neglect her during the whole 9mths pregnancy period,but i feel i have done beyond a FATHER role ,is my duty to look after my whole family,amabel and her.I dont need to write out or publicise what i have contribute to them,At the end of the day amabel is my daughter,so is my responsibility to take care her.人在做,天再看..actually i dont care how other people judge me,i just do whatever i can as a father role. Maggie thanks for the reply and comments.
I can't say I know her very well.
but...
if u said u feel that u have done ur part, then why would her be sad, angry, be complaining?
to me,
it means u're still not giving enough.
maybe u think u are doing a good job being a dad.
but as a HUS?
just give a lil' more care n concern. & since she doesn't like u to be frank in ur own way, y don't u try to talk to her in a nicer manner?
I m sure she'll listen to what u say.
I dont know why she keep on complaining and angry,she have everything,to me she very lucky and fortunate.Everything is in place and there for her,so still need to complain about what.why dont we look at the people at myanmar or the 3rd world country.As there are too many unfortunate calamities, epidemic outbreaks, food recession, Economics inflation.we have everything in place and no disaster and yet we are living in comfort in this part of the world.so we should just treasure the people and things around us.Many a times, Human don't treasure things or love ones until we lost it
Training our mind is like putiing a wild animnal in a cage and slowly train it till become a tame animal...If we dont train our mind, we will do what our mind desire and sin shall be conducted.
By focusing our mind is to have mindfulness is like cage up wild animal, unable to roam around. It take time to change.
Human are like that...they never feel pain before, so they never understand...when they feels pain themself...then they will say you never understand
The way we live and think everything is dedicated to material pleasure. We consider sense objects to be of utmost importance and materialistically devote ourselves to whatever makes us happy, famous and popular. Even though all this comes from our mind, we are so totally preoccupied by the external objects themselves that we never look within, we never question what makes them so interesting. However, this mind is an inseparable part of us; as long as we exist our mind is there within us. Thus we are always up and down. It is not our body that goes up and down, it is our mind – the mind whose way of functioning we do not understand. Therefore, sometimes you have to examine yourself; not just your body but your mind, which is the thing that is telling you what to do. You have to know your own psychology, or, in religious terminology, perhaps, your inner nature. But no matter what you call it, you have to know your own mind.
Don't think that examining and knowing the nature of your mind is only an Eastern trip. That's a wrong conception; it's not an Eastern trip, it's your trip. How can you separate your body, or the picture you have of your self, from your mind? You can't say, "I have the material power to separate my body from my mind." That's impossible. You think you are a free person in the world, enjoying everything. That's what you think, but you are not free. I'm not saying that you are under the control of someone else; it's your own attachment, your own uncontrolled mind that you are oppressed by. If you can discover how it oppresses you, the uncontrolled mind will disappear automatically. Thus knowing your own mind is the solution for your mental problems.
One day the world is so beautiful; the next day it is so bad. How can you say that! Scientifically it's impossible for the world to change radically like that. It's simply your mind that makes this happen. Don't think that this is religious dogma; our going up and down is not religious ma. I'm not talking about religion; I'm talking about the way you lead your life, which is what sends you up down. The people and the environment don't change radically; the changes are in your own mind. Surely you can understand that – it's so simple.
Similarly, one person thinks that the world is beautiful and people are wonderful and kind, but another thinks that everything and everyone are horrible. Who is right? How do you explain that scientifically? It's just their individual mind's projection of the sense world. Hence you feel, "Today is like this, tomorrow is like that; this man is like this; that woman is like that." But where is the absolutely fixed, forever-beautiful woman? Who is the absolutely forever-handsome man? They are non-existent; they are simply creations of your mind.
Also, you should not expect material objects to satisfy you and make your life perfect; that too is impossible. How can you be satisfied by even vast amounts of material objects? How can you be satisfied by sleeping with hundreds of different people? It's impossible. Satisfaction comes from the mind. Your dissatisfied mind wanting to keep changing from one person to another, from one trip to another, can never satisfy you. This is just your mind.
So you see, if you don't know your own psychology, you might ignore what's going on in your mind until it breaks down and you go complete crazy. People go mad through lack of inner wisdom, the ability to examine their own mind. They cannot explain themselves to themselves; they don't know how to talk to themselves. Thus they are constantly preoccupied with all these external objects while their mind within is running down until it finally cracks. They are ignorant of their internal world; their minds are totally unified with ignorance instead of being awake and engaged in self-analysis. It is so necessary to examine your own mental attitudes; it is essential that you become your own therapist.
You people are intelligent: you know that material objects alone cannot bring you satisfaction. However, you don't need to embark on some emotional, religious trip to examine your own mind. Some people think they do; they think that this kind of self-analysis is something spiritual or religious. To do this it's not necessary to classify yourself as a follower of this or that philosophy or religion. But if you want to be happy you do have to check the way you lead your life. For this you don't need to put yourself into some religious category; your own mind is your religion.
When you check your mind, you should not rationalize or push. Relax. Do not be upset when problems come. Just be conscious of them and their origin, knowing their root. Introduce the problem to yourself: Here is this kind of problem. How has it become a problem? What kind of mind has made it a problem? What kind of mind feels that it's a problem:, This is so simple, and when you check thoroughly, the problem automatically disappears. That is simple, isn't it? For that to happen, you don't have to believe in something. Don't believe anything! All the same, you can't say, I don't believe I have a mind. You can't reject your mind. You can say, I reject Eastern things – I agree. But can you reject yourself? Can you reject your head, your nose? You cannot reject your mind. Therefore, treat yourself wisely and try to discover the true source of satisfaction.
When you were a child you loved and craved chocolate and cake, and you thought, “When I'm old like my parents, I'11 have all the chocolate and cake I want, and then I'11 be happy.” You made that kind of mental decision. Now you have so much chocolate and cake, but you're bored. So you decide that since this doesn't make you happy you'll get a car, a house, television, a husband or wife – then , you'll be happy. So now you have everything, but there are more problems. The car is a problem; the house is a problem; the husband or wife is a problem; the children are a problem. You realize, Oh, this is not satisfaction.
Then, what is satisfaction? Go through all this mentally and check; it's very important. Examine your life from childhood to the present – meditate. This is meditation, analytical meditation. At that time my mind was like that; now my mind is like this. It has changed this way, that way. You see, your mind has changed so many times but still you have not reached any conclusion as to what really makes you happy. My interpretation of this is that you are lost. I don't care that you know your way around the city, that you know how to get home, that you know where to buy chocolate; as far as I'm concerned, you're lost; you can’t find your goal. Check honestly, you'll find that this is so.
Therefore, Lord Buddha is saying that you only have to know what you are, how you exist; that's all. You don't have to anything. Just understand your mind: how it works; how attachment and desire arise; how ignorance arises; where the emotions come from. It is sufficient to know the nature of all that; just that gives so much happiness and peace. Your life changes completely; everything gets turned upside down; what you interpreted as horrible becomes beautiful. It's truly possible.
I'm sure that if I told you that all you were living for was chocolate and ice cream you'd think I was crazy. No, no, no, your arrogant mind would say. But look deeper into your life’s purpose. What are you here for? Gaining a good reputation? Collecting possessions? Trying to be beautiful? I'm not exaggerating – check for yourselves, then you'll see. Through thorough examination you can realize that if your entire life is dedicated to seeking happiness through things like chocolate and ice cream, there is no significance in your being born human. Birds and dogs have the same kind of attitude to life. If you think you're intelligent you should dedicate your life to goals higher than those of chickens!
I'm not deciding your life for you, but you check up. It's much better to have an integrated life than to live in mental disorder. Otherwise your life is not worthwhile, not beneficial to yourself or others. Ask yourself what you are living for – for chocolate? For steak? Perhaps for education. But that also comes from the mind. Without the mind, what is education, what is philosophy? A philosophy is somebody's way of thinking, thoughts put together in a certain way. Without the mind there's no philosophy no doctrine, no university subjects. these things are mind-made.
How to check the mind? Just watch how your mind perceives or interprets any object that it contacts; what feeling – comfortable or uncomfortable – arises. Then you check: When I perceive this kind of view, this feeling arises; that emotion comes; I discriminate in such a way. Why, This is how to check the mind; that's all; it's very simple.
When you have checked your own mind properly you stop blaming others; you recognize that actions come from your own defiled, deluded mind. When you are preoccupied with material, external objects, you always blame them and others for your problems. Then you become miserable because you project that view onto external phenomena instead of seeing their reality. So you can realize your fade-conception view – the attitude, or nature, of your own mind.
You might think that this is all very new for you, but it's not. Whenever you are going to do anything, first you check whether to do it or not and then make your decision. Since you do this already, I'm not giving you something new; the difference is that you are not doing it enough. You have to do more checking. To do this you don't have to sit in some corner on your own – you can be checking your mind all the time, even while talking or working with other people. Also, you shouldn't think that examining the mind is something only for those who are on an Eastern trip. Don't think that way.
You should also realize that the nature of the mind is different from that of the mesh and bone of this physical body. The mind is like a mirror, reflecting everything without discrimination. If you have understanding-wisdom you will control the sort of reflections you allow in your mind-mirror. If you totally ignore what is happening in your mind, it will reflect all kinds of garbage – things that make you psychologically ill.
Your checking-wisdom should distinguish between reflections that are beneficial and those that bring psychological problems. Eventually, when you realize the nature of subject and object, all your problems will dissolve.
Some people think they are religious, but what is religious? If you are not examining your own nature, not gaining knowledge-wisdom, in what way are you religious? Just the idea that you are religious – I am Buddhist, Jewish – does not help at all. It does not help you; it does not help others. If you have knowledge-wisdom, you can really help others.
The greatest problems of humanity are psychological, not material. From birth to death, people are continuously under the control of their mental sufferings. Some people never keep watch on their minds when things are going well, but when something goes wrong – an accident or some other terrible experience – they immediately say, God, please help me. They call themselves religious but they're just joking. In happiness or sorrow, a serious practitioner maintains constant awareness of God and their own nature. You're not being realistic or even remotely religious if you forget yourself when you are having a good time, surrounded by chocolate and preoccupied by worldly sense pleasures, and turn to God only when something awful happens. That doesn't help.
No matter which of the many world religions we consider, their interpretation of God or Buddha or whatever is simply words and mind; only these two. Therefore words don't matter so much. What you have to realize is that everything – good and bad; all kinds of philosophies and doctrines – comes from mind. The mind is very powerful; therefore it requires strong direction. A powerful jet plane needs a good pilot; your mind-pilot should be wisdom understanding the nature of the mind. Then powerful energy can directed to benefit your life instead of being allowed to run uncontrollably like a mad elephant, destroying yourself and others.
Apologise in advance if my views are offending..
nope, not offensive to me at all.
did u copy n paste that passage?!
read until I giddy lah.
with another baby coming, communication is very important.
plus ur support.
anyway,
all I can say is.
try ur best to treat ur wife nicer.
maybe u think u r doing enough.
then why not talk to her, let her knw how u feel.
& ask her abt things that she is unhappy & angry abt.
talk things out.
I m sure things will work out.
good luck =)
I totally agreed with Maggie. Guy will never understand how we women feel. From my married, I have learned somethings... talk less (may not be the best solution but it work for me, cz guy thinking is alway different from women) no point to argue with husband, cz it will nv end.
Think about it perhap you are really not giving enough support to her?
And Angel's Mommy need more concern and support from husband, so why not just try to give more to her. That is a better solution esp she is preggies now (I am a mother of three so i can understand what she really need now), surely need alot of more support, love and concern
~Let's dun cause more problems for the couples by writing our own views here when we dun even know whats going on btw them.. i'm a reader from this blog and i think eling is a very good mother..A mother always do more den a father thats why ppl value Mother's day more den Father's day..everything has got their own meaning.. i believe AmabelBF cares if not he won't be bother to write long poems here.. i wish this family of 4 happiness always...~