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 .jpg)  Our Lil Princess: Amabel Loh Birthday: 21 August 2006 Place of Birth: Thomson Medical Centre, Singapore Delivery Method: Natural Delivery without Epidural Borned in Gestation age: 38weeks 3days Weight at Birth: 3.005kg Length at Birth: 47cm Breastfeed: 14 months  Our 2nd Lil Princess: Aisleyne Loh Birthday: 15 August 2008 Place of Birth: Thomson Medical Centre, Singapore Delivery Method: Natural Delivery without Epidural Borned in Gestation age: 39weeks 2days Weight at Birth: 3.010kg Length at Birth: 48cm Breastfeed: 3 years+  |
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date: Monday, April 14, 2008 time : 6:25 PM GIRL POWER!! I'm A blog reader, i named her as Anon, added me in msn. I am happy to give her my advice. She asked me this without knowing the gender of my coming baby. "Babe, are you heartbreaking when you are expecting with your girl?” I were real shock that the first thing she ask me is this. I asked her: “What had happened to you?” “Do you know I really despise you when you ask me this kind of question.” We had a long chat cause I want to correct her thinking. This is what happened. This anon is expecting her second child. Like me, her first child is a girl. Her gynae told her that her coming one, most likely would be a girl. She is going for detailed scan soon but had pressures from many people already. When they know that her first one is a girl, they (including relatives and in law) will give 'encouraging but yet mean remarks' like “aiyo nevermind try again”. Now that she is expecting another one, even her mother-in-law doesn't spare her and starts to teach her girl to say 'didi'...... *faint* In summary, these is what I think and told her and want everyone who is reading this blog to know. I suppose most of the sadness and disappointment doesn't really come from the mother, but rather others' reaction towards knowing that it’s a baby girl. When she mentioned heartbreaking of having girl, I think is other peoples like parent, in law, relatives or friends that are heart breaking and not the parent of the child. Many people are actually affected by others reaction, hence affecting their own emotions. I am a very emotional person but I am glad that for me isn't that affected by the gender. I came to realise it when I held my baby gal in my arms for the first time and I knew I wouldn't trade anything for her. The first time when she smiles at me, plays with me and even makes me angry... I am blessed that she is safe and healthy. I encountered some remark about the gender just recently. Can’t really remember what my XXX said cause it doesn’t really affected me much though a bit piss off when I overheard what she told my girl. It is something that telling my girl the baby inside is a ‘didi’. As if she is the one who hope and want it to be a boy. And that time I didn't even know the gender of the 2nd one. I was thinking, "why? why said is a didi? what's wrong if it's a girl? You were born as a girl also right! You mean you don't like yourself?" You also wouldn't want your daughter to face this kind of treatment and pressure from her in law or relative right? I was close to mouthing the words out. Anyway, I do try to think she meant no harm or slip out of mind said "didi" cause she has been very doting on my girl. Guess it's just a very traditional kind of thinking that older folks have. And I don't know why I got abit angry when someone guess that I'm expecting a boy. My buddy just told me something that maybe is the baby in my womb protest and it's the baby not happy, just imagine u are gal and someone keep saying u are boy. How the baby will feel? So mommy will angry for the baby. Lol~ Anyway I don't care about what others say, I got over it quite fast. But now I came to realise it can be serious, when this Anon who is so concern about other remarks and make me know that actually such a remarks can be serious mental discourage for some mothers. Or maybe alot which I don't know. So in future I need to protest on those people that bias on baby gender. Just cannot take it that why nowadays still got such mind exists. So far no one dares to say crude remarks about the baby gender directly to me as I think most knows I can be nasty and shoot him or her down. Just wish to correct their thinking; so give me a chance and I'll make sure the person turn into ashes with my reactions and words! If I ever hear anyone give such a remarks, I will just tell them off and that I have gain my wish of having 2 princess, no more baby, 2 is enough. "Afterall, I am the one taking care of them not you. " Really don’t understand why in this century, people are still harping on having boy. Isn't the health of your little ones more important than anything else. I'm surprised that even mommies, cannot sympathies other mommies and passing this crude remarks. I knew afew cases from this Anon. She told me her sister also do have some remarks from others when she is expecting her baby girl and boy. When first she expected with her girl, peoples tend to said: "Huh! girl ah? Nevermind try again for a boy" but when she expecting a boy for her second pregnancy, peoples will say: "Oh very good! You must be very happy. Can close shop liao lor". Her sister was thinking those peoples mean that she is not happy when she is expecting a girl? Both are her precious. She love both no matter what gender they are. I were thinking what the *F* those peoples are to do such comments and remarks! I wouldn’t allow my girls to be subjected to any discrimination. They are my precious, if anyone think they are not good enough, they can just stay away from us. We don’t need them. I work in hospital and I saw those babies fighting for their lives in ICU. I think people who place importance in gender are so superficial. I'm a girl too and I don’t think I'm worse off than guys. I still work to earn to support my girl and family. My husband is not the only breadwinnner!! We should be happy to be able to conceive and have normal babies. We should compare ourselves to those who can't even conceive and share our joy of having children or those whose babies are abnormal, and then we will appreciate the healthy babies we have. So there is nothing to be disgraced about having too many baby girls… Boy or girl, let the fate decides! I will like to share this inspirational, which I saw a few years back which I can still remember. I pull it out and wrote here to share. The content is something like this. A parent went to a dinner and this SUPER GORGEOUS looking mom was ogling at their boy, she went absolutely crazy, was smothering him with hugs and kisses. She told the mother of the boy in the happiest manner that she had always wanted a boy cause her parent-in-law hope she can has a boy because she has 5 girls. But she looked real gorgeous, so slim and so tai tai-ish that the mother of the boy didn't think that it was bad to have 5 girls. The mother of the boy was so attracted by her presence appearance and was thinking to herself 'How I wish I can look so good in 10 years time’. So we should all embrace motherhood and strive to be beautiful and hot mommies, be it 2 or 5 gals. People do look up to you for that. When we treat ourselves right, raise our kids well, look good and feel good, people will naturally look up to us and not remember how many girls you have. Another... How you will feel if a woman in her late 40's woman approach and ask you: " How does it feel to have a baby inside you? Telling you that she has never pregnant before." You ask yourself and you will feel blessed. I have my princess, Amabel, she is so cute and pretty, I love having her around that I can do so many girls things with them. I like to doll her up which is something you can't do with boys. That is why I always wish to have another girl to accompany her too, just like they accompany me. And I am proud to say that I am very happy that I expected another baby girl. If we have 3rd kid, I'll still be very happy if it’s a girl... I do wish to have boys too, for the sake of having him accompany my husband. But still it is fate so girls or boys, as long as they are healthy, it doesn’t matter!! Both are human, need parents' love and care. If both given the right environment, they can love us back more than we love them. I just focus on giving my girl all the love I have, we will surely benefit. And weren’t this more important to a parent. Sigh, my heart goes out to those with biases in laws, relative, parents, and friends. I love my girl so much; she’s the best and cutest little girl that I wouldn't exchange her for anything in the world!! I told myself before, if one day my relationship with my husband doesn’t work anymore. No matter what, I will fight for her custody and shower her with all my love throughout my entire life. I always keep my chin up and be proud of motherhood. Bless those that have girls…the more the merrier. P/S: Anon... hope you don't mind I blog about the conversation between us. Labels: Baby Gender, Feeling, Pregnancy, Words for you 15 Comments:
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15 Comment(s):
Meimei, i am proud to be a girl too. I'm the only child in the family and a girl too. Next time Myself and ZhenWen also wan to have girlsss. Girls will look after the family when they got married and are closer to the parents. Ppl always say, guys married le will all listen to the wife de. Many outsiders view it in a different ways, like Chuan Zong Jie Dai. Oh pls! Shen Mo Nian Dai Le. I know of a family who have 2 girls and 1 boy, both the parents dotes the boy so much. Treating him like a Royal Prince. Always buy good toys and clothes for the boy, what ever the boy wants, he sure to get it. The favoritism is SO obvious. Eveyone can see with their own eyes. I always telling Hubby How much I hate that! Sometimes dun even wish to talk to them. Seeing them behaving in this way will make me SICK! Girls are still the best! :)
Well said!! Babe... I look up to you too.
yay to another pretty daughter of yours!
Oh Congrates to you... After the long wait, your gal finally reveal her gender le.. You are right, health is very impt.. yest i went to see Gynae, she say my baby is a bit thin.. Hehe...
When starting i told my mum im having a baby boy, she straight away tell me "try again for a gal"...You are right cause some dun even have a chance to get pregnant... I am happy that im a gal too.. Cause my husband listen to me and i am a queen even at my inlaw house... Wahaha.. Cant wait to see another pretty daughter of yours... This time u mentioned the features is very sharp right.. I am so happy for you... * Cheers *
Congratz! I agree with you that gender is not important.. but well, traditional family thinking is still hard to beat. MILs still prefer boys.When my MIL saw a relatives with three gals, she utters, "All three are girls!" immediately.. aiyoh. I think baby girls are cute and like you say, we can doll them up. I'm surrounded by all boy nephews from my three SIL and mine will be a boy too.. a bit 'boring'.
I pray in the future, I will have a gal cos if dun have, I'll be very sad.
Girls are closer to their mummies too and we can conversate with them more.
By the way, one joke to share... When i saw your first sentence, i thought u wanna name your baby gal "Anon".. wahhaa.. Paiseh paiseh.... after that then realise anon means anonyomous...
Von... really there is such parent favourite boy over girl. Both are their kids what!! Then I'm wondering why they still want to give birth to the daughter? The daughter must be pressure and jealous of her brother. That can be an unhealthy environment for the daughter to live on. So sad to hear that! If I saw this kind of parent, I will definitely use a scorn look to them let them know i despise their attitude.
Janice and Sz, hee!!
princess_mummy... *faint* haha I wouldn't name her Anon lah. hey like that ur mom also biases on gender leh
Dreamy_cat... if don't have a girl also don't have to be sad. Can have a healthy baby and gone through the wonderful prgnancy is very blessed liao compare to those can't. Hee!
i am a boy but i also hope to be a gal...haha...actually nowadays gals have more say than guys...in another words, gals control the boys...anyway gals o boys also same de la...as long as they r healthy is the most important issue during pregnancy.
Be it boy or girl, if your baby going to grow up and be an useful person in the society, u will be proud of them no matter what, fate bring u and ur kid together, gender is secondary, imagine your girl try to dress up like a girl and your boy stand at changi? worst right? So importantly is to inculcate good moral values and pass down the ability to differeniate between good and bad.
Depression is one of the most common postpartum medical problems that new moms face. New research suggests that the risk is even higher for those who give birth to boys.
Most moms will readily admit that rambunctious little boys are a bit more challenging to parent than little girls, who are generally quieter and less physically active. But the impacts of gender on parenting don’t necessarily start once the little ones start toddling.
New research out of France found that women who gave birth to boys were significantly more likely to suffer from severe postpartum depression than women who gave birth to girls. The findings weren't limited to severe depression: Women who gave birth to boys were also much more likely to report a lower quality of life than women who gave birth to girls.
This study, published in the Journal of Clinical Nursing, is the first to examine the impact of infant gender on postpartum depression for women in a Western country. Previous studies in China, Turkey, and India, found that rates of postpartum depression were higher among women who had given birth to girls. Researchers suspect the findings reflect the strong cultural preference for boys over girls in these countries.
But not everyone is convinced that the study really sheds new light on postpartum depression, which is estimated to afflict roughly 10% of new mothers in the United States. For starters, the research was conducted only on French women, whose social and cultural reality may be significantly different from that of women in the United States.
More importantly, it’s possible that the findings are just a statistical quirk since the study was conducted on a very small group of women.
“We’re talking about a very tiny sample size,” says Dr. Gail Robinson, a psychiatry professor at the University of Toronto’s Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology. “There were only 17 mothers with severe depression and 13 had boys. A study with such small numbers doesn’t prove anything.”
Why Mothers of Boys Might Be More Depressed
The French research team didn't set out to determine why women giving birth to boys might be more likely to suffer from postpartum depression. In fact, when they started the study, there was no reason to believe that the baby’s gender would influence maternal depression, since there’s no cultural bias in France for babies of one gender over the other.
Once they noticed a trend, however, the researchers did speculate about why mothers of infant boys might be more depressed.
Are infant boys more difficult to care for than girls?
Lead researcher Claude de Tychey, professor of clinical Psychology at Universite Nancy, cites studies showing that infant boys are “more irritable and more difficult to soothe” than infant girls.
Robinson agrees with this assessment. "At birth, girls are more neurologically developed than boys,” she says. “This can make it trickier to care for an infant boy—they're not as settled and are more likely to keep you up at night."
Do women prefer daughters to sons?
No one asked these women what gender of baby they had hoped for, information that would have been useful in teasing out the reasons for the study’s findings, as well as perhaps more clearly identifying who’s at risk.
Nonetheless, de Tychey speculates that women (at least in France) may prefer daughters to sons.
One of his theories: the growing narcissism of the modern world is leading new moms to desire mini-me’s (that is, girls) instead of boys. Therefore, when a woman doesn’t get the gender of child she desired, she is more likely to suffer from decreased quality of life or severe depression.
De Tychey’s psychoanalysis may strike Americans as a bit far-fetched. But you don't need to buy into the psychology of narcissism to suspect that women in Western countries (especially American women) may actually have a preference for girls. Take overseas adoptions by Americans, a process that’s typically driven by women. Overwhelmingly, adoption agencies report that adoptive parents declare a preference for a female child.
daddy_price,
haha yaya I saw alot of woman controling guy nowadays. But you want to be a women meh... I don't wish to see you standing at changi round about leh. Haha! Don't go the carpark one cos all cannot make it one. lol!
Uncle,
Wow... good info to know. Thanks for sharing! But i think nowadays girls can be very active and mischievous also, just like Amabel, not many people can tahan her.
Anonymous, I totally agreed what you said.
Hi like to share this article,but not related to this topic discussion.
Anyone watch yesterday Silent Scream episode series?
The show actually takes a daring outlook on critical social issues that many experience but do not openly discuss. Topics include how terminally ill patients face death, family violence, suicide, abandonment, divorce and dealing with intellectually challenged family members.
如果知道自己来日无多，你的生活会出现多大的改变？末期病人又是如何地等待死神的降临？该如何协助身边的人 坦然地面对死亡？
After watching this show i feel more 珍惜 what we have now...
珍惜吧
今天，我突然很想告诉世界上所有的人，珍惜吧，珍惜爱你的人，珍惜在你身边一直保护你，一直把你当宝贝的人。那个人真的很珍贵。他在你身边的时候，你并不知道你真的那么爱他，甚至以为自己得到的爱护都是理所应当的，很少意识到他的重要，有时候和他任性和他发脾气，有时候会觉得疲倦，有时候会觉得缺少激情，但当你再没有他在你身边唠叨，没有人管你，没有人在乎你的病痛时，突然发现，失去了，那个自己其实一直最爱的人。爱是一场长久的拉锯战，从我们相识到相知，然后是相恋的一路上，就摆下一场战线很长的拉锯战。两个20年甚至更长时间毫无交集的人在一起，难免会争吵，会有分歧。我们本不是一体，只是因为爱而在一起，然后爱其实并不能就解决了所有的问题。因为我们的个性都太强了，更爱的其实是自己，所以，总是争执个不停，总是在和对方吵闹之后，发现自己的任性，却又免不了下一次的任性。如果这个世界上有卖后悔药的，我相信每个人都希望拥有，就可以在每次吵架、冷战之后吃上一颗药，就全部忘掉，重新开始了。真可惜，没有这种药，而且就算有，总吃后悔药也会产生抗药性，每一次的争吵留下一点伤害，积少成多，就会成为你的负担和他的烦恼。谁都不会把一次小小的争吵记在心上，但是两次三次呢？很多次呢？所有的争吵到最后都化为委屈，总有一日，会爆发。
我们每个人都爱过，我相信都是很认真的，也许有的失去了很久，但是至今想起，还是会隐隐的作痛吧。因为曾经他留给你的和他最后从你身边带走的竟然一样多，出奇的公平。没有谁欠谁，只是当初都不知道珍惜。也许你会说，上次是我没珍惜，这次我一定做好，一定珍惜！但是怎样珍惜？
你的爱人，你要用心的去体会，去明白他的心，去思考他到底需要的是什么，在你思考他需要什么的时候，你已经得到了他的尊重。你的爱人，你要用心去保护，不要因为他比你强或者是个大男人，就以为你保护不了他，你的爱比任何鼓励都要壮大，你足以保护你爱的人。你的爱人，你要用心的去珍惜他，他为你做的一点一滴，不仅仅感谢他，要记在心里，常常的去想想他。能为了爱你放下面子去忍耐你的坏脾气，去习惯你和他完全不一样的习惯，去照顾你的时间和规律，都是他因为爱所付出的。
在你发脾气之前，请先吸气，深呼吸5次，然后再长长的吐气5次。然后再说话。当你对他有意见有问题的时候，不妨写信告诉他，相信你在写信的过程中，自己已经先平和了，本来郁闷的心情已经得到了缓解。有时候可能写完信自己就已经不再生气了。因为写信需要措辞需要想，先就让你平静了。这样用信来沟通，少了言语的**，多了一些沟通，会让你们之间的问题用最理智的方式得到解决，再不会以争吵或冷战来代替。
I read this interesting article abt some research in USA on my long flight to New York. It suggest that the gender of the baby is somewhat affected by the physical & mental state of the mother. I quoted an extensive study in its point try to "prove" that the probability of the mummy having a baby girl is higher when she is stressed during the conception period. It quoted a detailed study of the 911 period. Anyway, i had a boy as my 1st and now expecting my 2nd a girl. I had always wish to have girls :p
idone,
Yah it always sweet to have a girl. When you due? ^_^