title: Get tough on bedtime!
date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011
time : 2:32 AM
So what if the child has problems settling in at night or resists going to sleep?
I really hate kids who sleep late at night! They may not be able to sleep more than 10hrs a day when they grow older; schooling life... working life... So when kids starting primary school, it can be a hard hit. Their brains are trying to absorb more information, they may be more stressed and they have to get up on time every morning and they may have been able to nap during the day before, but now they can't. So as a parent, we'd just make them do it now, let them make it a habit to sleep early. I always think it is parent responsibility.
I have no problem in getting younger girl to sleep as early as 9pm, she's an easy baby when come to sleeping early and bedtime routine. But I have problem with the elder girl since young, is our fault cause is our responsibility. Our fault, cause hus and me weren't in the same frequency when come to discipline the kid in bedtime routine and rules. Now we're better (FYI, I'm always the firm one when come to bedtime routine, so you'd know who is the one). Problem in Amabel is whenever I shoo her to bed, she will cry it out, making a huge fuss, she even find excuse not to sleep, cause Daddy isn't get to bed too. Mommy is tough but Daddy came to the rescue, asking to let her stay a little late just because he doesn't want her to cry, he'll feel the pain to see her cry. Bloody hell! So with her daddy as the backup, everyday she'll use the same method to get what she wants.
Anyway, so now I had slowly adhere to get Amabel into better bedtime disciplinary. This is what I found out and were doing...........
There are different reasons your child may not want to go to bed at night. Your child may have issues with autonomy. In other words, they may want to have more control over their body and their environment. This usually starts to happen after about nine months of age, and is what two-year-olds are famous for! Give your child some limited choice and “control” over the type of bedtime activities and the order of the bedtime routine. If your child has more control over these activities, they may feel less need to exercise control over when they fall asleep.
If your older child resists going to sleep at night, remember this: It is your responsibility to put your child to bed, but it is your child’s responsibility to go to sleep. Put your child to bed at a reasonable time after a reasonable bedtime routine. Have clear rules (stay in bed, no eating, etc.). If they stay awake late, and then want to sleep late in the morning, wake them up 10 minutes to a half hour earlier every morning until they are falling asleep at the time you want at night.
Basically, you should discuss the bedtime routine during the day so that the child knows what to expect at night. Then stick with it each night. If kids know what to expect, then they'll usually do okay. When I were trying to correct her sleeping time, almost every morning I'll tell her the same thing over and over again...'if you never sleep early in the night, every morning you'll be like today, drag yourself up, force your eyes open, got mommy tongue-lashing etc, do you want that everyday?' Her reply is always "No", sort of listen in but as I expected, kids will surely pretend to forget everything after awhile but I do believe they remember what we had told them, just that they want to stay awake more than worrying what will happen the next morning. So I will always remind her during the night while shoo her to bed, asking her "Do you want mommy to tongue-lashing you tomorrow morning?". She do cry a little or throwing missy tantrum while dragging her feet to the bedroom, but finally I still succeed in make her make the move rather than I dragging her to the bed. It's a big step though.
Some rules that I make sure:
- Most child sleep problems can be due to over-stimulation and bad habits, both can be dealt with with a bit of persistence. Make sure they wind down an hour before bedtime. Turn off the TV or computer games and stop any play that's too stimulating. Let their minds understand that it's time for bed. This will establish good habits that will last them years into the future, or until they become teenagers.....
- Make sure they get up at the same time every morning. This establishes a good sleep habit and also resets their body clock. Try and make sure there is plenty of light in their room or, better still, shoo them out into the sunshine! This makes sure the supply of melatonin, a sleep inducer produced by the body, is established for the following night.
- Check to see if there is too much light in the room at night. Block out street lights and make sure any LED displays on clocks are not too bright.
- Reading or listening to relaxing music can help though. If you have the time, kids love a bedtime story. It relaxes them and can be part of the bonding process between you.
- No too much noise? Some kids can sleep through the World Cup, others wake up at the slightest noise. Normal household noises are ok, just make sure it's not too loud.
- We all know about caffeine but what about sugar? It can make some children hyped up and overactive. Try cutting it out completely after 3pm.
When come to weekend, I think they got no excuse to stay up late too, this isn't doing them any favours. Children need a sleep routine, so be firm and don't give in, this is needed to get them get used to it.
Good to know...........
What do I need to know about school-age children and sleep?
School-aged children still need somewhere between 9 and 12 hours of sleep at night. At this age, kids usually start a trend toward becoming more and more sleep deprived. As the parents, you will need to help figure out how much sleep your child needs. Your child is getting the right amount of sleep if they:
- Can fall asleep within 15 to 30 minutes.
- Can wake up easily at the time they need to get up and don't need you to keep bugging them to get up.
- Are awake and alert all day, and don't need a nap during the day. Check with your child’s teacher and make sure your child is able to stay awake and alert during school.
In other words, if your child can go to bed, fall asleep easily, wake up easily, and not be tired during the day, then they're probably getting enough sleep.
If your child’s poor sleep is causing daytime problems, then they are sleep deprived.
If you answer “yes” to any of these questions, your child may be sleep deprived (not getting enough sleep). We live in a very sleep deprived society. Sleep deprived children (and adults) have more trouble controlling their emotions. The part of the brain that helps us to control our actions and our response to feelings is affected greatly by lack of sleep. Not getting enough sleep can lead to all kinds of problems, such as behavior problems, attention problems, and not doing well in school. Kids who don't get enough sleep are also more apt to hurt themselves.
How much sleep do kids need?
This chart shows you some averages. It will give you an idea of the ballpark you should be aiming for, depending on your child’s age. Some kids will need more or less sleep, and differ in how they nap.
| Age | Nighttime Sleep
(hours) | Daytime Sleep
(hours) | Total Sleep
(hours) |
| 1 month | 8.5 (many naps) | 7.5 (many naps) | 16 |
| 3 months | 6-10 | 5-9 | 15 |
| 6 months | 10-12 | 3-4.5 | 14.5 |
| 9 months | 11 | 3 (2 naps) | 14 |
| 12 months | 11 | 2.5 (2 naps) | 13.5 |
| 18 months | 11 | 2.5 (1-2 naps) | 13.5 |
| 2 years | 11 | 2 (1 nap) | 13 |
| 3 years | 10.5 | 1.5 (1 nap) | 12 |
| 4 years | 11.5 | 0 | 11.5 |
| 5 years | 11 | 0 | 11 |
| 6 years | 11 | 0 | 11 |
| 7 years | 11 | 0 | 11 |
| 8 years | 10-11 | 0 | 10-11 |
| 9 years | 10-11 | 0 | 10-11 |
| 10 years | 10 | 0 | 10 |
| 11 years | 10 | 0 | 10 |
| 12-13 years | 9.5-10 | 0 | 9.5-10 |
| 14 years | 9.5 | 0 | 9.5 |
| 15 years | 9.5 | 0 | 9.5 |
| 16 years | 9.25 | 0 | 9.25 |
So start training your kids to have good bedtime routine and rules, get them to sleep early during the night, making sure they sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time everyday.
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