We came to this topic during a lunch conversation.

It seems like many parent will usually tell the elder to give in to the younger cause 大的因该让小的。For me I used to say that to my kids too, then I came to realize that it shouldn't be that way and I shouldn't said that to them. The elder may feel unfair, and feeling me favoring over the younger. As for the younger may think "Yes! mommy said I am the younger so jiejie should give me whatever I want and I can easily fight for her toys/things next time"

So for me, when both my girls fight, I don't care who start first. Both I whack!! Once they fight, immediately I will get the cane. If they still didn't stop by the time I run to them with the cane, I'll start whacking both.

I want to let them know that there is no winner or loser when it come to fighting over a thing, as long as you're involve in a fight you're wrong. Definitely get a harsh caning from me. No more soft approach as I have been telling them sense over and over again. That should be in their brain already yet they choose not to listen, then so I have to use hard approach. And most important is it work ESP on my elder. When a fight is activate and she see me stand up in anger, knowing if she don't discipline I will take the cane, she'll usually stop but then initially it will follow with screaming, then next few times to whining and recently I notice she will stop without tearing but with gloomy face and in fear I will cane them. As for the younger, she is still small to learn that but she is also scare and will immediately stop when she know I want to take cane Liao but also then crying, so i just let her cry lah don't care. In the end who win or not, I will still confiscate the thing that they attempt to fight. None can have it.

Hopefully the scene of them fighting over things will get lesser, yes it did slowly...



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