This is where I work, 7 years of stay.


I love this place;
Life working in a hospital is rather challenging; it is a really a good experience with the peoples I met. I get to work in a building where often I will get to see those cancer childrens.

Just two days back, met a cancer children in the lift with her parent of course. She is bald, with a few small lumps on her head, she looks pale. The dad was standing behind her, holding tight to her arms, the little girl was resting on her dad’s body. The mother was standing right beside them, looking so restless. Sorry I know is weird cause I just can’t get my eyes off them. The loves between them. I feels the pain and grieve, my eyes turn red. The next moment, the dad gently rests his cheek on her head, that is the way he shows his love. Can see how tired the dad was too. Then the little girl turn to her mom, looking into her mom’s eyes, they looking at each other for a few seconds, the little girl gave her mom a sweet smile. My tears start rolling in the eyes. I don’t know how to express how I feel at that moment, I know it is difficult for them to goes through this. I don’t know how serious the cancer has spread, but in my heart I’m praying for them, praying the little girl will stay strong. I pray to the god, called out for my grandma-in-law who I feel is always around me, to help look after these children, give her strength to fight.

Suddenly a lot of emotion stirring.

All of this happens in a very short period of time for them, putting them on an emotional roller coaster. Knowing that the diagnosis of cancer in a child is a devastating blow to the parents and other family members who love the child. Cancer creates an instant crisis and crack in the lives of the family, their normal daily life stops. Parents must be away from work so they can be with their ill child. Siblings may need to be cared for by relatives. The ill child becomes the major focus of family, while other concerns are put on hold. And the courage to make important decisions about their child's care really put the parent in a very difficult situation.

Me as a parent I know every parent has hopes and dreams that their children's lives will be healthy,carefree and happy. Everytime I saw cancer patients, I feel really sad that this cancer and its treatment change that hope and dream. Parents will grieve for the loss of some hopes. Are sad when they think about the hard days of treatment ahead. Still they work hard to find ways to maintain some quality of life for their ill child and the rest of their family during this battle with cancer. The family has to be living in fear and anxiety too.


I remembered I saw a documentary interviewing a cancer mother about 2 years back, which impacted me so much (not sure whether her condition is getting better, i really hope it is better). [Part of this is actually from the unpublished post which i wrote about 2 years back after watching the documentary about this cancer mother, can't remember why I didn't published it in the end]. The mother was a very cheery, strong in heart and beautiful. Her days are numbered, her kids are still small (very adorable girl and boy, 6/7 years and 4/5 years old now I believed). She has a very caring husband (Caucasian) who staying taking good care of her. She’s a very happy mother and wife, the driving force came from her kids and husband. She kept all the photos they took together, the diary she wrote, stuff that she left for the kids and all their memories in a box, want her husband to pass it to her children if she doesn't has the chance to when they grow up.

When they talk about, “Which part of your life is most memorable.”
She replied, “This is the best part of my life”
My heartache when I heard that. Not sure whether you do but I can truly understand why she said that. Able to spend every second, every minute with the kids and family is the happiest moment. Sad right!


Parenthood is never easy…

Parents alway worry if their children will grow up strong, happy and healthy. When they are older, we are worrying about their education, career, family and future. These innocent young one may not understand that their parents’ uttermost love for them is tinged with grief and despair. Children are the eternal worry of every parent. A mother devotes selflessly to her child. A child gives immense strength to his/her mother. This is LOVE!

There is a limit as to how much humans can do. The only hope they want is to just give them a few more years. To them cherishing every minute and every second is more meaningful. We should feel blessing with each passing day with our kids. This is what I learnt and will like to share it with my reader and of course my kids.

I have been thinking about this for a while, and hope I can change my way of handling my kids and the things around. Learn to come to accept an unpleasant fact, in a happier ways. Some parent seems to be always complaining this and that about their kids, how naughty they (I ‘m one of them), how bad their relationship with their parent or in-laws. I learn instead of finding troubles to the thing you unhappy with, why not think of those people struggling with life. Any problem you faced seems to become so tiny and not a big duel. If there is a problem, find way to solve. You chose the route, then you have to be responsible for it. That’s what I always tell myself. I chose to breastfeed; sacrificed my freedom, my sleep, suffer from the lil bit of pain due to the engorgement. I chose it, I won’t complain but to find way to enjoy it.  I chose to object my husband for keeping my ex-maid and taking a risk to choose my current maid which in some way she is worse than my ex-maid, I also never like to complain it to other, instead find way to improve the situation, telling the maid how i feel and how she shall improve. It takes two hands to clap, if it still cannot be solve and improve (i mean the maid issue I'm facing right now), I will choose to forgo and send her back. There is alway a way to solve it rather than complaining.

I started to angry with myself, why now then I come to realise how to cherish the people around me, why I never think of those unfortunate children before raising my hand on them when they just being a little mischevious. I want to love them more now. I really learn a lesson this time round (thinking how blessing I'm), hoping I can change my attitude and control my temper. This takes time, but i will try.


My child, from now on…
When you are frightened, I will be here to protect and accompany you.
When you are crying, I will hold you in my arms, to soothe you.

And so when you feel happy, my life brightens up as well!

Love you lot and forever,
Mommy

In the nutshell, I hope hus can be more understanding, pardon me having the need to leave the kids under his care, give me alittle bit of time to update this blog.

This is the place where I update my journey with my love ones, the memories we share, lastly a memories I left for my kids. And I will like to continue it till I step into another world. ....

Labels: Words for you