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 .jpg)  Our Lil Princess: Amabel Loh Birthday: 21 August 2006 Place of Birth: Thomson Medical Centre, Singapore Delivery Method: Natural Delivery without Epidural Borned in Gestation age: 38weeks 3days Weight at Birth: 3.005kg Length at Birth: 47cm Breastfeed: 14 months  Our 2nd Lil Princess: Aisleyne Loh Birthday: 15 August 2008 Place of Birth: Thomson Medical Centre, Singapore Delivery Method: Natural Delivery without Epidural Borned in Gestation age: 39weeks 2days Weight at Birth: 3.010kg Length at Birth: 48cm Breastfeed: 3 years+  |
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title: Complain
date: Thursday, May 15, 2008 time : 3:41 PM I really hate this kind of feeling. I’m not a super women, I’m just doing the max as the best mother. I’m really pissed off with him; Why can’t he be cooperative when come to discipline and taking care the kid? Why can’t he take the initiative? When he said he tired, I let him sleep early Angry with myself, why can’t I just go to sleep early when I’m tired? Just because I know if I go sleep early, my girl will surely sleep late. Cause he will surf the net, turn on the TV in the room with lights switched on. How to get Amabel to sleep early in that environment right? And I bet will end up be my maid taking care her, brushing her teeth, feed her milk, coax her to sleep. I don’t want that… I want to let my maid have a proper meal when we’re back from work, want her to finish all housechores, bath and go sleep early. So she is energetic the next day. That’s why I insist taking care my girl on my own at night, knowing that he can’t do the full job well. But why can’t he be more initiative and automatic in helping simple things like concentrate playing with her so maid can eat and finish her work and I can eat then bath too. Everynight, by the time I back home with him from work, that’s about 7pm already. That’s the time I get to have my dinner and my maid too. She must be starved, so do I. But when maid is having dinner in the kitchen whilst we have it in the living room, why can’t he be more automatic, play with her since he finished his meal the fastest. So Amabel won’t come and disturb us then we can faster finish our meal. I can’t get up and down so easily from my position to stop her from disturbing the maid. That’s why I always ask him to play with her first. He just doesn’t care. In the end, get on my nerve. Sometimes I know he will not fully look after Amabel during dinnertime. So I will insist to let the maid to eat first while I taking care Amabel before having my meal. I help to bath my girl when I’m back earlier, keep squatting down and getting up whilst bathing her is not an easy job for me now. But what can I do? No matter what I have to do it. Making sure Amabel drink her last feed of milk Brush her teeth and wash her face Plans her meals Read her storybooks Get him to help to do a thing; like changing the room’s water, offering fruits to goddess etc.. I have to keep bugging him, if not, he won’t do it. So usually I will do it, it becomes ONLY MY job? I know I have been doing all these since we gotten the house, so he ought to think that I will continues to do it. I told myself, I am not going to do it anymore if I don’t have the ability or time to. He wants to do it or not is his problem. Most of the time I only get to bath when I have done most of the things with my girl and is already 10 plus. If not, will ask him take care her for a while. Amabel do enjoy very much with his accompany, cause she likes rough play with her Dad. But he will still concentrate more on surfing net, and Amabel will be playing herself around in the room. It’s ok cause I know it is safe for her in the room cause sometime I do that too when I’m in the toilet brushing my teeth or in the walk-n-wardrobe cleansing my face but still within my sight and I will keep taking a look at her and also since she’s old enough to take of herself and be more independent. But why when I do it, he blaming me for not looking after her?? Not fair right? I’m already doing more than him yet he can blame me and defend himself that he is taking care Amabel most of the time. I am thinking and scratching head, WHEN he is taking care of Amabel more than me? Why can’t I see it and feel it. From the above, do you think he is doing more than me?? Especially since now I’m pregnant. Why guys also like to defend themselves? Why women are always the one who suffer? I’m not like those housewives staying at home to fully concentrate on kid since their hubby give them expenses, they got to do it no matter what. But for me… I’m also a breadwinner in the house, why back at home I still got to do so many things and he never help much at all. He does help a bit like playing with Amabel and sometime feed Amabel drink milk when she feels lazy to hold the bottle. But that is only when I scream or beg for it. I don’t want to be like a crazy woman, shouting here and there but I’m BLOODY ANNOYED. Why can’t he be more initiative? Even if he is helping to take care upon request; he will still concentrate more on surfing net. Everyday, I got to tell him this...“Help me take care Amabel for awhile”. Why need me to ask him to do this and that than taking the initiative doing it? Amabel is a very active and mischievous kid, she not so easily control by others, she likes to throw temper tantrum, she like to do stunts. So she often agitated me esp when no help from him. That's why I need to scold and punished her with Time-out. I think she sometime does dislike me… cause I am always the one who don’t allow her to watch show at night, I am always the one who force her to brush teeth, I am always the one who insist her to get to the bed, I am the one who stop her from playing before sleep - which she doesn’t like. So she doesn’t cling on me very much. It can be sad but what can I do? I love her that’s why I need to discipline her well no matter how bad she thinks I am. It is for her own good and benefit. She just get herself hurt yesterday night. Still a playful girl after that~   Above few pic of her sitting in the bedroom, saying "I love you" to her 姨姨 who is sitting in the living room. So sweet! He doesn’t help never mind, but why can’t he be more cooperative when I ask him to watch TV in the living room rather than in the room when I’m coaxing Amabel to sleep. If not because I am pregnant; I cannot be starved and will need sufficient of sleep, I will fully concentrate on looking after Amabel first. When she sleep then I start doing my own stuff so I don’t have to seek help from him at all. Labels: Words for you 15 Comments:
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15 Comment(s):
hi,i also same with u. At 1st, my hubby also won't help me on looking after Jovian when we reach hm, he just relax himself n watch tv or surf net. I reach hm i need to do housework, look after Jovian n cook cereal milk for Jovian n make her sleep. If she dun wants to sleep, I will feel angry and beat her. I sick also need to look after her myself. At the end, I really frustrated, I scolded him. Nw he much better, reach hm, he will play with Jovian until Jovian feeding time, den he went to bath, after that he make Jovian sleep, den my turn to bath and relax myself.
When my son is just born, my hus is like that too. esp cos we are living with his parent, how can i shout/scold him to ask him to help? so i have to do everytin myself. until we come to Aust, i finally can express my feelings. after few argument, he finally take care of our son. take care of him at night wash the dishes al there. but recently i found out that he realli doesnt like to do it. whereas i tot these routine is fine with both of us. his friend said to him that he's surely blessed to have me n our son. and he reply: " i can oni say im blessed to have my son".. after knowing that, i tell myself fine i will do EVERYTIN myself. i dont want someday if we realli broke up, im the 1 who ppl pointing at saying im a bad wife bad mum. why everytime women open mouth ask for help mean we keep asking them to do thing? we ask doesnt mean we dont do just that we realli need help. and husbands always say that did they ever ask for help? right, no.. becos they doesnt care as much as we do. like taking care of kid they always think aiya nvm 1 la. but for us mums we want the BEST BEST BEST for our kid. so everytime cannot go wrong. when we unable to do what we think need to be done ofcos we ask for a SMALL favor from our kid's father to help. haiz
at 1st my intention is not want him to help me taking care of Dalton. what i want is Dalton can be close with daddy. cos i heard too much ppl saying that their kid oni stick to them but not close with daddy. i dont want that. i want our son able to love both of us. close to both of us. but i think im wrong. i also always the 1 who scolding my son ask him not to do this not to do that. and my hus is always the 1 dont kn what realli happened and he straight away defend for Dalton. blame me in front of Dalton say why i always scold him. which i think making Dalton to more dislike me. thniking that daddy is helping him must be the things he do is right. since he doesnt bother to make me n my son's relationship better, i cant be bother anymore to make up a good daddy image for him.
Before giving birth to Jovian, I had told hubby, if i discipline Jovian, he had to walk away and dun come to comfort her, or else
Jovian would thought if mummy scold or beat me, daddy will be there to help me and i become a devil and her daddy become a angel.
Jovian's mom and Kairis,
Yah I would said to my girl I'm alway the devil and daddy the angel cause daddy is alway the one who doesn't care much about how to discipline the kids, we are alway the one who restricting kid from doing this and that so usually kid will dislike Mom?!
It's alway when we grow up and get married with kid, then we realise how noble our mother is.
Hi, I can relate to ur probs in many ways. I am 9 mths preggy and I am caring for my 1yr 2mths son myself. Bathing feeding caring for him at nites. Its really stressing me out as I dont know whos going to care for him like I do when I have to deliver. My hubby hardly helps and even though I am staying in my mum house I have very little support. I only wish and pray very hard to GOD that I can have a norm birth so I can come home and care for both my babies. Being pregnant we need more love but people treat us like we are superwoman. They assume we can handle everything ourselves. U have to relax more and enjoy being pregnant. U are a great mum from what I read. No matter what happens you are the only one who will be there for your child. God bless u and I wish you a smooth pregnancy.
Everyone will view things differently. To some, the slightest irritation will trigger their temper. To some, not bother by it. It all voice down to oneself. Some people will get irritated when they are in the presence of some one that their dislike or vice versa when some one that they like. The feeling arise from within, not the surrounding people or place. Who causes us to feel irritated? Important thing is that we understand why certain people behave in certain manner. Some people can be very irritating, some can be very nice. But if we were to step back and look at it, it's due to our past connection that we are facing the present. If we think that others are so unfair to us because we have been so nice to them, that is a shallow way of looking at things. Things do not happen for no reason, everything happen for a reason. Good or bad, it's our doing in the past and the present. There's nothing fair or unfair about everything. Everyone deserved what they are encountering because Law of Karma know no boundary.
Anonymous,
I can understand how tired you are. Just do our best lor. You're 9months pregnant...that's gonna be soon to deliver, wish you a very smooth and fast delivery and of course a norm delivery. Keep in contact yay! Share with me your experience in handling two. hEE~
I'm a male and you have to understand why nature chose Women to bear children and not Men. Men are there to provide you your home, tools and amenities to fulfill your task: taking care of the home and kids.
We build the world. You support us. Stop complaining and just accept that this is how nature has organized Males and Females for billions of years. Without this solid, proven foundation, mankind may have not even made it past the first centuries!!
Men build the world???? What a joke!? And I must said in this centries... women not only bear children, but also provide home, tools and amenities, taking care of the home and kids (this is mostly done by women now and is not just men doing it). Apart from earning money which women also doing now, I dont see what guy special in. Stop defending for guy. Anyway thanks for giving comment at least i know how you guy are thinking all along.
I know there must be some reason god has organized that women bear the delivering of kid and I accepted it since I enjoy the pregnancy, delivery and most willing to do it no matter whether it is pre-arranged.
And i am just expressing how I feel, no point for me to bottom up so you dont have the right to ask me to stop complaining in my own space. Thanks for the comments.
Toh E-Ling~
To Anonymous,
What you commented above sounded quite true but not 100%. There are still men who are not there to provide home, tools & amenities to let women fulfil the task of taking care of the home and kids.
Instead, there is an increasing no. of women who are working hard to provide for the home as well as taking care of the kids.
Anyway, this is her blog..
It's her way of releasing stress by complaining here, i dont see any reason why she must stop complaining.
In addition, you do not have the right to ask her to stop complaining and if u're unhappy with her complaints, then stop viewing her blog.
It's as easy as ABC.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The above two comments by js and Amabelbf have been removed by me.
Please do not put on harsh words, vulgar language here since my children will be reading all this in future.
Don't have to defend for me or denied yourself.
Pls cheer up!! Look at Amabel to get positive vibes to boost you up!!! You should not be stressing yourself, get frustrated and feel so upset / lonely... I believe you have the support of ALL your close friends.
Amabelbf, you ought to do some soul-searching and STOP being so self-righteous. Your wife needs your support and your understanding!!! Its your duty as a MAN, a FATHER and a HUSBAND to bear the frustration, burden and problems.. not leave if to your wife to handle it alone.. whats wrong with you??? You are so lucky to marry such a beautiful wife and a mother who is trying her very best to be a perfect mother to your child (children in months to come) Treasure it!!!
js